Well it’s been a really longtime since I have shared anything with the world.....
But today I am writing something which is very close to my heart so I feel this will more than make up for my absence.
This October I celebrate 10 years of my first real crush for someone. Well I will try not to pry or divulge anything about anyone other than me. I respect everyone's privacy so hope the world takes it in the right spirit.
The year was 2000, had just completed my boards and was about to start pursuing every science students dream of getting into the HALOed IIT's. So I joined a co-ed tuition and for the first time, I was sitting in a classroom full of both the sexes. My initial classes went well made a few friends from the either gender. Then I met her, would you believe it was a Yashraj flick where both of us hated the sight of each other. And guess who the prof selected to bring her up to date ......me of course ( arre warna story kaise banti) so I lent her my note book and she vanished. I cursed her all night and decided to call her the following day. After an interrogation by her family and then an utmost surprise reaction by her she acknowledged that she had heard my name. Well didn’t I have some exciting plans to take my vengeance. But time passed and she became an enigma for me. All my friends had a crush on her and were ready to ask her out, she was dating someone they knew so that was weird. But the thing is however you may disagree, things that seem too weird are the ones that attract you like hell. But I guess for me it all boiled down to a fateful auto ride from my coaching center to a locality on her route. When I paid the fare for both of us, she said "why just because you are guy you need to foot the bill". I guess that had a deep impact on my mind.
In a few days my best buddy asked me a question that I hadn’t asked myself. On a rainy auto ride from school he asked me "Do you have a crush on her" ….. my instant answer was like no way. He said everyone believes so coz the way you look at her....
Well that’s the day I realized I had a crush on her.... First crushes are special... But acknowledging them is a taboo right... coz they have moved on and if you say you have a cherished memory then you become the obsessed stalker .... Well in my opinion if you have a fond memory of something then why not acknowledge it....
In my case she has full right to think I was obsessed with her coz it took me 2 years to move on and that’s weird to many, as the original bond didn’t even last a month... My fault that I couldn’t understand the depth of the feelings I had, moreover I had friends who encouraged me to keep those feelings alive... Well shouldn’t blame anyone at the end of the day the onus was on me to move on.... But I regret those calls or mails coz it wasn’t right... I don’t know whether you can be friends with someone who you had a crush on.... All I know given a chance I want to say sorry for the stress I caused and wish her well in life... Beyond that let fate take its course....
You may think with so much of social networking it would be easy for me to say that but in reality I think that it may come out even worse... It’s been a decade she may think I am surely obsessed but the truth is that if I have made the mistake I have to say sorry ... sometimes give or take a few years.... I will wait in case life presents an opportunity where we cross paths I would say at least one word and bid adieu…
Don’t know about the world so in case anyone wants to share his or her story please do....
Still if anyone feels it’s not right to reveal such things I am really sorry....
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